Ladies and gentlemen, break out the tuxedos and the evening gowns, it’s the 2023 Sports Betting Oopsies Awards, the world famous awards show!* (*Editor’s note: Not world famous, no awards will be given.)
Listen: Not everything is +EV in this world, y’know? As a result, we present some moments from last year that call for a face palm emoji.
And while we generally don’t go in order, this year there is a clear “winner.” So let’s start there, shall we?
Never forget and bet! 1t4u62
September 11, 2023, was the 22nd anniversary of the worst terrorist attack in American history. Some 2,977 Americans were killed that day in New York, Washington D.C., and Somerset County, Pennsylvania.
“Never Forget” three-team parlay for the Mets, Yankees, and Jets to win. It was +651. It lost, for the record.
No way DraftKings did a “Never Forget 9/11” parlay 😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/gncovEETI7
— Chuck Goldberg (@chuckgoldberg) September 11, 2023
To its credit(?), DraftKings took the promo down once people started noting it on social media. It released a statement that said, “We sincerely apologize for the featured parlay that was shared briefly in commemoration of 9/11. We respect the significance of this day for our country and especially for the families of those who were directly affected.”
Oopsie of the Year right here. Hands down.
Stupid betting tricks 146k6e
We’re not going to get into all the details here, but suffice it to say 2023 was not without its sports betting scandals, mistakes, and all-around idiocy when it comes to athletes, their hangers-on, and the rules concerning who can bet and where.
In no particular order, there was LeBron James’ manager who were suspended for gambling violations.
Is that it? Probably not. But it’s enough.
A message, then, for pro athletes and others connected to sports: Don’t be an idiot, m’kay?
Rocky Mountain, er, Mexico City High 721ls
The Giants and Padres had a late April game. Sean Manea toeing the rubber for the Giants, Joe Musgrave for the Padres. DraftKings opened the game with a total of 9. They were seemingly first with the number.
It dropped to 8.5 for a time, and then … moved back to 9. Then 9.5. Then, like a child running a fever, the number spiked to 15.
Why? Because the game was not being played in San Diego or San Francisco — it was in Mexico City, where it was 325 feet down the lines and, more importantly, over 7,000 feet above sea level. In short: There were going to be home runs.
This is how extreme the elevation was at the Padres/Giants Mexico City games, even compared to Coors pic.twitter.com/cYkBvOlV
— Jay Cuda (@JayCuda) May 1, 2023
In the end … Sharps 1, DraftKings 0, as the final score was 16-11. With 11 home runs.
Offshore goes rogue 482q5c
A certain offshore sportsbook decided this would be the year to … offer markets on the Special Olympics World Games Berlin 2023.
Outrage was quick, though some observers — present company included — thought maybe there is a path to allowing betting on these athletes.
In the end, there were a lot of unsatisfied customers, as the results were a little muddy and payouts were delayed, in some cases by weeks.
Hulkamania (not) running wild z2225
Indiana about teaming up with Ernst & Young to A) lock down scripted match results in order to B) allow people to wager on the outcomes.
That’s right. Betting on scripted events.
But before you could leap off the top rope, regulators in both Michigan and Colorado put the idea in a sleeper hold.
Bad wrestling metaphors aside, it’s more likely you could break out of a Ric Flair figure-four leglock than for there to be legal betting on WWE matches at any time in the foreseeable future. And yes, I realize I failed to put bad wrestling metaphors aside.
One of the best things to happen in wrestling back in 1991:Ric Flair putting the figure four on Hulk Hogan in a WWF ring. pic.twitter.com/xG89CQs32P
— Rasslin' History 101 (@WrestlingIsKing) January 4, 2022
Math lessons and Mathis lessons 4f2638
Taylor Mathis, now at SportsGrid, used to work for SuperBook. But then she got fired.
Why? Because she went into the second-grade classroom where her sister taught and used a March Madness bracket to discuss some basic math concepts.
Some saw nothing wrong with this, some were aghast, but either way, it cost her a job.
Lesson here? Kids + any whiff of gambling = not a great look.
Drama not saved for momma 5o4s73
You can’t call it paranoid when you’re right, right? That’s exactly the space Underdog Fantasy founder and co-CEO Jeremy Levine found himself in this year.
FanDuel of working behind the scenes to ban pick’em fantasy.
I couldn’t be more excited about Underdog. BBM IV's the largest fantasy contest ever. Our Pick’em games are wildly popular. Our new vision for sports betting comes soon. @FanDuel & @DraftKings want to take all that away from you. You should know what they’re trying to do.
— Jeremy Levine (@JerLevine) August 9, 2023
And while numerous states did ban pick ‘em this year, what’s more telling is what DraftKings has done: Launched Pick 6, which is … uh, pick ‘em fantasy, except it’s peer-to-peer, kinda-sorta, not against the house.
Underdog has launched Pick ‘Em Champions, which is … pretty much the same as Pick 6. I think. Kinda-sorta.
In short: A rose by any other name is still a five-leg parlay.
A lot of moving parts here, and we’d all be better off if gambling regulators just realized what we all already know: If you’re placing money somewhere in an attempt to win money, it’s gamblin’.
Inside baseball 2z2933
All right, this last one is really just for the sports betting journalists out there, but …
… if you told the Massachusetts Gaming Commission it was sunny outside, there would be a five-hour meeting to discuss it. Old joke alert, but it may literally — and I don’t use that word lightly — take this crew an hour-and-a-half to watch 60 Minutes. If there is a sports betting question, they will call a meeting to answer it. Sometimes, they call a meeting to discuss whether they need to have a meeting.
I’m sure they’re all very nice people — well, “sure” is strong, but benefit of a doubt, love thy neighbor, etc. — but boy howdy do they meet often. And for a long time.
After meeting for nearly eight hours, the #Massachusetts Gaming Commission voted to post a sports betting application for public comment. The application will go up on the MGC website Friday, reports Jill Dorson.
— Sports Handle (@sports_handle) October 6, 2022
Now, granted, they are doing the business of the people, and I suppose it’s better to get it right slowly as opposed to getting it wrong quickly, but uh … yeah. They are long meetings.
And that does it for the Oopsies, folks! Enjoy your swag bag, which contains a free bet (limited to 87 cents). (Don’t even get me started on limits, as that could be a whole Oopsie show.)
